“Everything happens for a purpose and whatever happens is destined. So I got out because it is God that made this possible. At that time I was going through all this suffering, I
couldn’t see it that way. I thought, "Why me, why doesn’t it happen to somebody
else?"”
- Fauziya Kassindja
Fauziya Kassindja was born in Togo to a family of 7 children (she was the 6th). She said she was always very mischievous and was very close to her father. Kassindja’s upbringing was quite different from other children of Togo though, her parents raised her siblings
and her to be very independent. Her parents would always tell them to make their
own opinion and as long as it was a positive one, they supported them. Kassindja
was even sent to school along with her other siblings to learn English and help
with the family business. But after her father died this all
changed.
"On Thursday they said I’d be married. On Friday they told me they’d cut me. At midnight I escaped."
Her aunt on her father’s side then moved into the household forcing their mother to
leave to her own country and then became her new guardian. At the age of
17 her aunt told her she could no longer go to school because it was a waste of
money and time, and how her sisters went to school also but ended up married
anyway so it was pointless. After losing some of the closest things to her, her
aunt then started bringing this man around the house who Kassindja believed to
have been interested in her aunt. She would always compliment the man saying how
he seemed so nice. Her aunt would always go on about how great this man was and
how popular and rich he was, she thought her aunt was in love with him, but was
really just saying all those things to get Kassindja interested. Then one day
her aunt decided to finally drop the bomb and tell Kassindja how this man wanted
to marry her. this man was 45 years old at the time and had three other ways who
she was told would help take care of her, she didn’t like the idea of that at
all so a big argument rose in the house. Her aunt told her, “I know you don’t
love him now but once you get kakiya [genital mutilation], you will learn to
love him."
“That’s where the nightmares really began. I was strip-searched again, and left in this huge cold room and this man came in and stared at me, as I was standing there naked. Then I was taken to this prison in Hackensack where I was sexually harassed by an inmate.”
After she woke up the next morning her aunt called her into her bedroom and
surprised her with all of these beautiful clothes along with accessories. She
told her today was her wedding day and that her husband wanted her today and
tomorrow kakiya would be performed. She had no idea what to do, she went along
with the marriage, but refused to sign the marriage license. So she consulted
with her sisters and they told her not to worry and they would help her. So in
December 1994 her sister sent her on the next flight to Germany which would then
send her to America, but trying to get to America was a huge struggle. She was
then sent to jail because America felt she had no valid reason to flee there
where she was sexually harassed by a fellow inmate. She was then sent to Lehigh
County Prison in Pennsylvania. Then when she was in a detention center in New
Jersey she met this lady named Cecilia Jeffrey who took her under her wing and
became a mother figure. Kassindja even contemplated going back to Togo because
she just couldn’t take this punishment anymore until Cecilia showed her what
kakiya had done to her and how horrible it makes her feel. Kassindja decided to
stay and then later went to meet the courts again. She was then approached by a
writer from the New York Times to be put in it, she was at first apprehensive,
but once her story was put on the front page of the New York Times the eleventh
she got out the twenty-fourth.
and her to be very independent. Her parents would always tell them to make their
own opinion and as long as it was a positive one, they supported them. Kassindja
was even sent to school along with her other siblings to learn English and help
with the family business. But after her father died this all
changed.
"On Thursday they said I’d be married. On Friday they told me they’d cut me. At midnight I escaped."
Her aunt on her father’s side then moved into the household forcing their mother to
leave to her own country and then became her new guardian. At the age of
17 her aunt told her she could no longer go to school because it was a waste of
money and time, and how her sisters went to school also but ended up married
anyway so it was pointless. After losing some of the closest things to her, her
aunt then started bringing this man around the house who Kassindja believed to
have been interested in her aunt. She would always compliment the man saying how
he seemed so nice. Her aunt would always go on about how great this man was and
how popular and rich he was, she thought her aunt was in love with him, but was
really just saying all those things to get Kassindja interested. Then one day
her aunt decided to finally drop the bomb and tell Kassindja how this man wanted
to marry her. this man was 45 years old at the time and had three other ways who
she was told would help take care of her, she didn’t like the idea of that at
all so a big argument rose in the house. Her aunt told her, “I know you don’t
love him now but once you get kakiya [genital mutilation], you will learn to
love him."
“That’s where the nightmares really began. I was strip-searched again, and left in this huge cold room and this man came in and stared at me, as I was standing there naked. Then I was taken to this prison in Hackensack where I was sexually harassed by an inmate.”
After she woke up the next morning her aunt called her into her bedroom and
surprised her with all of these beautiful clothes along with accessories. She
told her today was her wedding day and that her husband wanted her today and
tomorrow kakiya would be performed. She had no idea what to do, she went along
with the marriage, but refused to sign the marriage license. So she consulted
with her sisters and they told her not to worry and they would help her. So in
December 1994 her sister sent her on the next flight to Germany which would then
send her to America, but trying to get to America was a huge struggle. She was
then sent to jail because America felt she had no valid reason to flee there
where she was sexually harassed by a fellow inmate. She was then sent to Lehigh
County Prison in Pennsylvania. Then when she was in a detention center in New
Jersey she met this lady named Cecilia Jeffrey who took her under her wing and
became a mother figure. Kassindja even contemplated going back to Togo because
she just couldn’t take this punishment anymore until Cecilia showed her what
kakiya had done to her and how horrible it makes her feel. Kassindja decided to
stay and then later went to meet the courts again. She was then approached by a
writer from the New York Times to be put in it, she was at first apprehensive,
but once her story was put on the front page of the New York Times the eleventh
she got out the twenty-fourth.